Are You Being Yourself or The Woman You Think He Wants?

Remember the, movie, “The Runaway Bride, where Richard Gere accuses Julia Roberts of not even knowing what kind of eggs she likes? Her favorite breakfast was whatever the last boyfriend liked.  Aren’t most of us like that in one way or another?We pretend we like football, hockey, soccer, scuba diving (when we’re terrified of the water), etc. etc.

The problem is that we can be such great fakers that once we get married, we’re faced with a choice: Stop faking and let him know that he married a fraud, or put up with his interests (which become more and more grudgingly accepted).  That’s not exactly fair to either one of you, is it?

Many, many of us go into the dating process .and even our marriage thinking I’ll put up with this for right now, but just wait …,”   But that is wrong!  #1 It’s not fair to him. Bottom line, he thinks he’s in love with a totally different woman! #2 Going into a marriage thinking that it’s our job, our mission to make him “see the light,” is going to lead the marriage straight to destruction.  Once your husband realizes that he’s stuck with somebody other than the woman he dated, he’s going to change and you’re going to wonder why!

So my advice, my hope, my prayer for each of you is that you gather the courage to admit if you don’t like something that he does.  Be honest!  You do NOT have to be 100% compatible!  Iron sharpens iron, yes?

If this handsome, interesting, Godly man asks you out to see his favorite sports team, you have a choice:  You can be honest and say something like “Well, I’m not really a “XXX” fan, but I’m willing to give it a try!”  Or “Gee, can I take a rain check?  I’m really not into sports (or whatever the activity is), but I’d love to see you again!”  There. It’s on the table.  He can make the decision if he wants to continue to pursue and he might!  Remember, it is NOT your job to pursue!  (I don’t care what year it is!)  Because of that, we’re tempted to make the “bait” more interesting.  Stop.

Men love a woman who knows what she wants.  You can be that woman without an attitude.  You can be strong and loving,confident and compassionate.  God made you a woman.  He made you unique.  Use that!

And remember that you are a Princess, heir to a thrown and you are loved as far as the East is to the West!