So you meet Mr. Charismatic. He’s cute. You have a lot of things in common. His kiss makes your toes melt and you cannot wait to spend time “alone” with him. And there’s a good chance that he feels the same way. I’m serious. Yes, he could really care about you… just not enough to keep his hands to himself; because we all know that women use sex to obtain love and men use love to obtain sex. But he could still care. I get it.
So when is the deadline? How long do you give him to “pop the question?” My heart breaks when I hear this question because if you two are having sex, then he could string you along for YEARS! Why should he be in a hurry to get married? He has everything he wants and desires and it “gives him a chance to save up for the future.” Have you been hearing that from anyone? So how long do you give him?
Honestly? The best answer I could give you would be to stop having sex; not because I say so but because it’s what God expects from you. Let Mr. C. know why you’re stopping. He may argue with you. He may fight against “your” reason. If so, you just got your answer. He’s not a true believer and you need to walk away! What’s my definition of a “true believer?” He wants and desires to put Christ at the center of his life. His desire is to submit to the will of God, which if he’s having sex with you… he’s already obviously not doing.
IF he agrees with you (and maybe he will), then I would say to give it six months and see where you are without sex. Do you still like him? Are you fighting more? Maybe the differences between you that the sex was masking, are surfacing. It’s amazing how many things we overlook in a potential husband because we’re just wanting the ring on our finger.
Ladies, not that long ago, I could not have advised you with such assurance. Why? Well, I had the “abstinence” part down, but I had not been in a successful chaste courtship yet. But I DID marry a man who waited for me. There were absolutely no surprises when we got married. None. The man who courted me was the man I ended up giving my heart to and he still hugs me every day and tells me he loves me every day and looks at me with eyes of adoration. So I DO believe that putting God first; putting His desires and EXPECTATIONS for my life, above all else, WORKS!
So, you can continue to have sex with Mr. C… or you can get to know the real man and see if you really are settling. Now ask yourself… Am I settling? Never forget that God loves you, that Jesus has saved you and you are PRECIOUS enough to have blood spilled for your life. Use it wisely! #GodlyWomen