After receiving Christ as my Lord and Savior, I begged Him not to have let my life of mistakes go to waste. I asked how I could serve Him. His answer? “Write.” #GodlyWomen
One important lesson I learned almost too late, was that my children had to come before any man. That should be a no-brainer. As a mother, I’m sure we all believe that we shouldn’t have to be told that. But I have to say, that my desire to be with whatever man was in my life, made me make stupid choices. I believed I was putting my children first, and if push came to shove, I would choose my child over any man; but I still made stupid choices in order to be with someone I believed I loved.
This is important, you single moms out there. This is important for every woman who may ever be a single mother for any reason. When you are dating a man, your # 1 priority should be the welfare and happiness of your children. When you are engaged, those priorities may shift a little, but your children still come first. If you are blessed to find a man worthy of becoming a part of your family and you marry, then your husband comes first. But until that day comes, if he is a man of God, he will understand and agree with your choices. A man that you are dating should never, ever be placed over your child. If he forces you to choose, I would suggest that you re-evaluate your choice in men.
As I’ve stressed over and over and over: Go with what you know and not with what you feel. Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it?” (New American Standard). Our hearts can get us into so much trouble. We listen to the world say, “Follow your heart.” What we need to listen to is the Holy Spirit reminding us that Jesus says to follow Him.
One more valuable lesson that I learned before it was too late, was that I was forgiven. Once I accepted the forgiveness of Jesus Christ, I went to my children and asked for their forgiveness. I promised them that they would never see another boyfriend spend the night in our home. I promised them that I would set the example and stand by God’s word and no longer condone sex outside of marriage.
I will admit to slipping from that promise about 7 years later, for a few weeks and I crawled back to God with a broken heart filled with repentance after my fall. This time, I healed faster and held a newer resolve to stick with what I believed God wanted for me and was able to live a happy, full life; and when I met my Godly man six years later, I was honest about my past and what I believed. He could have rejected such a woman with a past and I would have understood, but it would not have broken me because I had accepted God’s forgiveness. I do thank God for the man I married and for his leadership and Godly counsel, but I could not have appreciated such a man had I not accepted God’s forgiveness first.
We are women of God. He LOVES us! So if you are in the middle of a relationship that is not worthy of a Godly Woman, pray and make some wise decisions. It may mean breaking your heart, but do the right thing. If you have made mistakes in your past and don’t believe that you are worthy of such a man, then it’s possible that you haven’t accepted the forgiveness that Jesus Christ offers.
Did you know that He prayed for you before you were born? In John 17:20-23, He prays, “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.”
Hold your head high, my sisters. How could anyone doubt such love as from the One Who died for us. You are loved, my sisters! You are SO loved! Now my prayer is that you live like it! #GodlyWomen
1 Timothy 4:12 Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity..
All through the Bible, we are told over and over again that living our lives can and should be a witness to others. I think this is true for us as women, so that we can witness to younger women and to each other. I also believe that we should also expect it from the men.
You know, sometimes I would meet someone that passed himself off as a Godly man, even a Bible study teacher, sometimes… But he would still expect sex. He lost his witness to me. He had a chance to lead me, to strengthen my faith, but for all intents and purposes, he actually almost tripped me on my walk.
Romans 14:13 says, “Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.”
We are all instructed not to cause our brother or sister to stumble. So if a man is asking you for, or demanding from you, sex… He might as well be sticking his foot out in front of you and causing you to fall. Do you really want a husband that would intentionally hurt your walk with God?
Sisters, not only should we expect a man to “walk the walk”, but we need to hold each other accountable. Are we living a life that is a witness to others? Can our friends, our children, co-workers see something different in us? Live out LOUD, ladies! LIVE your LIFE! You are a princess! You are an heiress to a throne. You are loved. Always, you are loved.
We tell young women to protect their virginity. We pray that our college-aged young women will protect their virtue. But who is talking to the divorced woman who doesn’t understand what God’s expectations are. I am! Every mistake, every mis-step that I took in my walk as a divorced woman is talked about in my book, “Godly Women Waiting for Godlly Men.” You can download from Barnes & Noble or Amazon. It’s available for purchase through either of these, or you can order from my website: http://www.honeygilmer.com .
Does God have a word about your sex life, even if you are no longer a virgin? Yes. He does.
It seems every woman is born with a longing heart. When we’re babes, we long to be tall, like Mommy. When we’re teenagers, we long for freedom, we long for a boyfriend, we long for the love our life! We become young women and we long for a husband, then we long for a family. As older women, even if we have a wonderful marriage, that longing is still there. The family didn’t fill that empty spot. The husband, good as he is, didn’t fill that empty spot.
And if you’re in an unhappy marriage, multiply the longing by 50%. If you have kids, you can double it. God made us women. He gave us this “hole” in our heart… to be filled with Him!
I’ll give the same scenario in different circumstances and let me know what you think:
Teenaged girl on a beach at sunset.
Oh the hormones are RAGING! I want a boy to walk with me on the beach and hold my hand. I’m so lonely. Nobody understands me. If I had a boyfriend, everything would be perfect.
Young married woman in a happy marriage on a beach at sunset:
This is nice! The sunset is so pretty. Why do I still feel so sad? I have everything I want! What’s missing? Something’s missing.
Young married woman in an unhappy marriage on a beach at sunset:
I’m so unhappy! Somewhere out there is a man who would treat me better. If I were in a better marriage, I’d be so much happier and I wouldn’t feel so empty.
Mature Christian woman with or without a husband on a beach at sunset:
Look at the beauty of that sunset! Thank you, Father, for such beauty! How much you must love me, not only have you given me your son, you continually show Your love through the beauty of nature. I am at peace. I only long to see Your face, Father!
As women, we will always long… but it’s WHO we are longing for that will determine our peace, our countenance, our sense of humor, and ultimately our joy.