This is written with the single mom in mind. Single moms are always heavy on my heart. You are so over-worked and over-looked, yet your press on. Why? Because you love your children with all of your heart.
One of the mistakes that I made and I see other single moms (and dads) making is having the desire to “get back out there,” making yourselves available. After all, you can’t catch that fish if you’re not in the water as bait, right? Wrong.
The worst mistake I made as a single mom was wanting so badly to find a “better” role model as a father figure than my ex. I was obsessed with it. That obsession lead me around by the throat, strangling all logical thought from my decisions. I talk about it in my book, and it gets into the gory details, but I know many of you know what I’m talking about. As a lot of you know, I was divorced well over 18 years. The first seven, I was lost in the world. The second 7 years, I was finding the Lord. The last 4, I was resting in Him.
There is nothing better than finding rest in His will. I remember asking what the lesson was that I was supposed to learn from kidnapped kids, loneliness, heartache, becoming a workaholic. The Number One lesson for me was that He was telling me:
· THE father figure for your children. I love them more than you ever will. Point them to ME, not to another imperfect man (after all your picker seems to be a bit broken, wouldn’t you agree?)
· THE husband you need. That roof with the hole in it? I’ll get it fixed. Trust me.
· Your security. TRUST ME! TALK TO ME! COME BACK TO ME.”
Until you can come to a place of rest in Me, your children will continue to grow up without a good father figure. They may or may not see a man treat you with respect.”
So, looking back at my mistakes and how hard-headed I was, I know now that had I surrendered myself and my children to Him, sooner, our lives could have turned out so differently. I’m definitely not complaining but I could have shorn off a few years of agony. So PLEASE learn from my mistakes!
Single moms, look up instead of out into the world for that father figure, for your comfort and solace. Surround yourself with like-minded (and like-hearted) friends. Keep each other accountable and out of the beds of the next heartbreak. And remember, introducing your children to the ultimate father-figure is always the right thing.
God bless you!