I was talking with a single woman the other day, who is actually a doctor.   She’s also a Christian.  We started talking about the journey that God had allowed me to take while I was single and she looked at me and asked, “How’d you do that?  How did you manage to be happy, celibate, AND still end up with a wonderful man?  Did you just wait…  patiently?”

I had to think about that for a minute.  How do you give a short answer for almost 19 years of being single?  Finally, I told her that I made sure that I laughed.  She appeared a bit puzzled by my answer.  So I explained the following:

The first 7 years after my divorce, I was not a Christian and I was making very bad choices.  At the least, the choices were bad in God’s eyes.  In the world’s eyes, I was a normal divorced woman trying to find a guy!  So my choices mostly revolved around “chemistry” and longing for that “spark” when looking for Mr. Right.  Then I became a Christian and all of that changed…  (Gradually)

After I fully accepted that sex outside of marriage was against God’s will, I had to find something else to hang onto besides finding a man!  That was tough!  I was 39 years old and giving up my search for Mr. Right was a hard pill to swallow.  So was the thought of possibly living a celibate life for the rest of my days on earth.  But I did get it resolved deep into my way of thinking.  No more man-hunting!  So now what?

I made my new life designed to not only helping others, but finding something to do to LAUGH!  I joined a singles Bible Study.  Sure, there were some things I couldn’t afford to do, like scuba lessons and trips to great diving spots, but I COULD afford a movie now and then and dinner with friends.  I could afford to go to people’s homes and play games.  I could afford a retreat every now and then.  And I DID these things!  And guess what?  I made friends!  And guess what?  We laughed!  I took men off the shelf!  And God took ME off the shelf in order to work on me.  He’s STILL working on me, but I love Him so much for loving me enough to do that.

His rewards are great, my friends!  If we’re not rewarded here, we will be rewarded in Heaven.  I’d rather have the second one, anyway!  Right?  So find some reasons to smile.  Find an activity that makes you laugh, even if it’s playing Scrabble with your kids.  But LAUGH!  It truly is good for you!  Laugh while be obedient to God’s expectations of us.  You will be blessed in some way!

Now go out into that crazy world of the flesh, hold you head up, throw you shoulders back and know that you are loved by the Creator of the Universe and L-A-U-G-H!  You are loved!  God bless you!

Your Friends

2nd Timothy 2:22 says,”Run from anything that stimulates youthful lust. Follow anything that makes you want to do right. Pursue faith and love and peace, and enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.” (NLT)

This scripture is so basic for the single woman.  It’s telling us to stay away from situations where we might just lose control.   You know your weaknesses and that means sometimes having to tell your friends “no” when they’re trying to get you to go somewhere that you’re not comfortable with.  But if they’re truly friends, you won’t have to constantly say no because they will be uplifting you and holding you accountable in your decisions as well as you being able to hold them accountable.  “Follow anything that makes you want to do right.” (Emphasis is mine.)  A godly friend will make you want to walk the right path!

“Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.”  Yes, we want that in a mate, but we also want that in our friends!  As a matter of fact, anything that you are looking for in a mate, you should be looking for in a friendship.  Something to think about!

While You’re Waiting…

I remember being in so much angst and praying for God to send me a man to help… Help with lifting something, help with being lonely, help with financial problems… There were nights I went to bed so discouraged, so tired, that I just wanted to cry. Being single is a stage where we are toughened, but it is also a stage where we are strengthened.  Amen?

Out of all of my “single problems,” I think the only one He was truly concerned with was that I could get really lonely. Just as He saw Adam alone and said that it wasn’t good for him to be alone, this is true for us today.  So through some great God-incidents, He brought me to an AWESOME church family where I had fun, met friends and started serving others. Everything else just started falling into place.

So I URGE you… Don’t just sit around waiting for Mr. Right on his shining steed to swoop in and make your life better… If you’re sad or lonely or broke… give!  Give of your time, of your money.  Give your help, your shoulder, using your spiritual gifts, GIVE! If you’re having financial problems, God promises to take care of you. He WILL provide. That’s HIS promise, not mine!

My sweet, sweet sisters. Do not give up on God. Do not give up on waiting for His very best for you. Think of one small thing you can do for someone else today that will help them in some way and DO it! You may not come out wiser or wealthier, but you’ll come out a winner and you’ll be amazed that YOU may be the one smiling!

Remember, to whom much is given, much is expected (Luke 12:48).  You may not feel that you’ve been given much and maybe you haven’t, but you are here for a special purpose.  Find your spiritual gift and use it!

If you don’t know what your spiritual gift(s) is/are, this is an amazing spiritual gift website that I’ve used many times over the years.  It’ll take you about 45 minutes, but it’s so worth it!  I’d love your feedback, ladies!  Here’s the link:  http://www.kodachrome.org/spiritgift/

God bless and Happy Valentines Day.  You are loved with a love so great, that you were purchased with the price of a life.  Wow.  You must be pretty special!


Crying in The Attic

I have a couple of “crying in the attic” stories, but after praying, I think this is the one God wanted me to share.

After years of struggle, I was finally blessed to buy my own home.  It wasn’t much, but it was mine, needed repairs and all.  One Sunday afternoon, it was storming outside and I was in my bedroom getting ready for Sunday night Bible Study. I just happened to look up and there was a brown water mark. My heart fell as I realized that there was no water pipe that went over that ceiling. With dread, I pulled down the attic ladder and started climbing. Immediately I heard the water. I turned my eyes reluctantly to the source of the sound and there was a golf-ball size hole in the plywood beneath the shingles. Water was just pouring in.

I started crying as I went to find a bucket. I was broke, but I couldn’t have this hole in my roof! I was so scared… and MAD! I brought the bucket up and fixed some boards to hold it and then I just lost it. I started screaming at God! “You PROMISED to take care of me! I don’t have a husband. I don’t have anyone to turn to. Your Word PROMISES to take care of me! How could you let this happen?” I was sobbing. If anyone was outside, they were probably wondering what was louder, my wailing or the storm’s!

I sat up there for about 10 minutes crying, feeling sorry for myself and then trying to remember a person’s number that I had served with in the Youth Ministry. His name was Lester. I climbed down from the attic and storm started letting up, which was a relief. I started looking for Lester’s number. It had been so long! I searched my emails. I searched my cell phone. It had been a couple of years since I’d talked to him. “Oh well,” I decided. I might as well go to Bible Study.

I was so disheartened. I walked into Bible Study and guess who was there? Yep. It was Lester! We talked and he came out to my house the next day. I was prepared to pay him in increments. He had to replace the whole board and all of the shingles. He wouldn’t accept a penny from me. As I thanked him, he said, “Thank God, not me. I just did what He told me to do.” Let it be known that I had never seen Lester in that Bible Study before or since!

Of course I had some apologizing to do. I know now, that this was a faith-building exercise. One of many. As the years went on and these “things” would happen, I gradually learned to just know I would be taken care of. He promises us that in Matthew 6:25-34

25 Therefore I say unto you, be not anxious for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than the food, and the body than the raiment?    26 Behold the birds of the heaven, that they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; and your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are not ye of much more value then they?    27 And which of you by being anxious can add one cubit unto the measure of his life?    28 And why are ye anxious concerning raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:
29 yet I say unto you, that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
30 But if God doth so clothe the grass of the field, which to-day is, and to-morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?    31 Be not therefore anxious, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?    32 For after all these things do the Gentiles seek; for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.    33 But seek ye first his kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.   34 Be not therefore anxious for the morrow: for the morrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Fireworks or a Slow-burning Bonfire?

How many times have you met a man and the sparks were just shooting back and forth? You felt you could hardly breath and he actually approaches you and your heart feels like it’s going to burst? It’s the fireworks! The endorphins are working overtime and you can see in his eyes that he feels the same way.  Isn’t this what you’ve been waiting for?  Or is it?  I have a hard question here…

When you think of fireworks, you think of beauty, explosions, earth-shaking vibrations.  But if you think about it, they’re over fairly quickly.  They kind of leave a dust in the wind, and then they’re just a memory.  So, here’s the question:  Would you rather have the fireworks that are over fairly quickly and leave your heart bruised and your self-esteem shattered or would you rather have a small little ember that looks kind of interesting and if you nurture it, it actually becomes a fire and if you nurture THAT, it becomes a bonfire that will last “until death do us part?”

Pending Book Release!

Hello, Godly Women, my new book, “Godly Women Waiting for Godlly Men,” will be available for download and for purchase in the next couple of weeks! I’m very excited, not so much for the sell of the book, (it took me years to write), but I’m praying that any woman who is going through a bad time, whether it’s a divorce or a bad breakup, that she will read about my mistakes and LEARN from them!  If one life can be touched, I would be so honored to know about it!
I’m asking that you like my new Author page, Honey Gilmer and to follow me on Twitter @HoneyGilmer .  I’ll keep everyone updated with the release date.
God bless you and thank you for your support!

If God is Sufficient, Why Do I Want More?

One night, years and years ago I was complaining to God about being lonely and being so tired of going to bed by myself and why after being “good” for so long.  Why wasn’t I being rewarded?  After I listened to myself whine to my Lord and Savior, I felt so GUILTY! How can I tell my God, my Creator… the Creator of my Universe that he’s not enough? Immediately I went to my knees and apologized. My heart was so broken and the guilt was horrible. I cried myself to sleep because I thought I had disappointed God.

That night (or should I say morning… about 1:00 a.m.) I was awoken by the Holy Spirit. God gave me a thought to hold to and to treasure. He’s so loving. #1 I was forgiven for my doubt and discouragement.  #2, He gave me a different twist on an old story…

In the beginning God created the Heavens and earth. He created the animals, the plants and he created Man. Can you imagine… there was Adam and he had God all to himself… I mean it was a PERFECT world and it was a PERFECT relationship… but Adam was still LONELY! Adam desired more and he was a perfect creation in God… so the BEST that I could do was accept the free, unconditional love that God gives me and understand that feeling lonely was OK and nothing to feel guilty over. Just a little food for thought…